i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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