i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
