he wants to bone in the snuggie
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I would ride that face into the sunset
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
