Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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