Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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