He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
