i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
