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• (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.

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• (845): View more from New York

  my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few

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• (510): View more from California

  Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...

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