did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
