And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
