you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
