He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
