Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
