CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
