Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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