I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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