Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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