Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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