yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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