I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
