I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
