So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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