:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
