We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
