If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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