This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
