ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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