i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
