and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
