what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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