I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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