i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
