ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
