i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do vagina's smell?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
