Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
