The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
