If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My pussy is not your playground.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
