Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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