I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
