The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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