HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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