If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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