Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
