please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
