A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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