careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
