I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
