omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is Oprah even human
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
