dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
