Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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