We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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